Saturday, October 27, 2007

Challah-back Girls

I'm sure some of you are wondering what is happening with Village Nights - the musical I'm writing about the Village. Well... with the musical revival train a chugging and with Andrew Lloyd Webber not getting any younger - I'm still working on my opus. David Mirvish - call me? We'll do lunch!?

When we last left our hero and heroine [Joshua Goldenstein & Jessica Sternberg] - they were singing love songs from their respective perches at the corner of Spadina and Lonsdale. But all is not well round the Faux: right before intermission we learn that our hero's ex girlfriend - the evil shiksa Taylor McMaster - has returned from Neuchetel Boarding School in Switzerland only to discover that Joshua has his eyes on a girl from the "poor" side of the tracks. Taylor is hell-bent on getting back her mentsch and she'll stop at nothing to prove her love for Josh's kosher sausage. (Too far?)

In the following scene - Taylor warns Jessica to stay away from her man and that unlike her she isn't a "Challah back" girl. Taylor assumes that Joshua is attracted to her because of Shiksappeal. Snap. You could say that Jessica's messy bus is about to get even messier.

Challah-back Girl

Uh huh, this is my Gucc
All the JAPS stomp your feet like this

A few times I've been around the Faux
So it's not like you're the only Village pro.
But I ain't no Challah-back girl
I ain't no Challah-back girl[x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my Gucc, this my Gucc[x4]

I heard that you were talking Yiddish
And you didn't think that I would understand it
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fahklempt
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack
Gonna get a Frapuchino, gonna spill it on you you
That's right, put your lattes downs, getting everybody fired up

A few times I've been around that Faux
So it's not like you're the only Village pro.
But I ain't no Challah-back girl
I ain't no Challah-back girl[x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my Gucc, this my Gucc[x4]

So that's right bitch, meet me at the Starbucks
No yoga mummy's, or philipino nannies
Both of us want to be with that mentsch, but there can only be one
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all
Gonna take your uggs, gonna sock them to you
That's right I'll be the one under that chuppah, another yid bites the dust

A few times I've been around the Faux
So it's not like you're the only Village pro.
But I ain't no challah-back girl
I ain't no challah-back girl[x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my Gucc, this my Gucc[x4]

Let me hear you say: don't go east of Spadina
S-P-A-D-I-N-A
(Don't go east of Spadina)
(S-P-A-D-I-N-A)

Again
Don't go east of Spadina
S-P-A-D-I-N-A
(Don't go east of Spadina)
(S-P-A-D-I-N-A)

A few times I've been around the Faux
So it's not like you're the only Village pro.
Because I ain't no challah-back girl
I ain't no challah-back girl[x2]

Ooooh ooh, this my Gucc, this my Gucc[x4]

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