Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tales from Papa Len

My favourite part about the Village - is its sense of entitlement. People actually walk the place like they own the world. They don't. They own a slice of land that's over-valued and ripe for the current real-estate bubble to burst. Sadly with that bubble goes my inheritance. So to my dearest readers in Dubai - please continue to buy condo's in Toronto and drive up real estate prices thus ensuring that the Faux Hillary's paper worth continues to rise exponentially, merci...

Over at Papa Len has recently argued the same thesis. Papa Len, who I'll have you all know, does most of the shopping at Two-Fer found himself over the weekend at our local Loblaws - or as its officially called, "The Village Market". In times of strife Villagers like to support their own [we're like the mob] and currently Faux Hillary's are rallying around Galen Weston Jr. (or G2) who is having quite the time turning around his families storied Loblaws Supermarket chain, which is facing severe competition from Wal Mart (tasteless nouveu riche southerners). While some may argue that the job is not quite fair for young G2 (best known for starting Toronto's snobbish Spoke Club). In comparison his sister Alannah got given a cushy job at Selfridges (in London) while G2 got stuck shilling organic apples. Wonder what G2 did to piss of Hils?

But back to Papa Len - and his weekend foray down to the Village market. As he deftly manouvered his way around the various beauties of the Village and their bugaboo stroller's, he couldn't help but notice the Village's sense of entitlement in action. Hark! In the distance - your typical Faux Hill Mummy and her child. Mother looks a tad frantic - as she thinks to herself: "I can't believe the nanny quit - I am so out of my league. We are NOT at the Yoga studio anymore..." Mother continues to look ashen as contemplates which groceries to buy, while her daugther begins to cry. Apparently the kid is hungry.

So what does your typical Village mummy do? Ever resourceful our Faux Hillary grabs a clementine from a box, peels it and gives it to her daugther. Problem solved... too bad she didn't buy the rest of the box. Why pay for something when you get it for free?

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