Fit Gone Bad

A boyfriend once, after we broke up, had the pleasure of telling me: "listen - its not like I cheated on you." I suppose one has to commend someone for their brutal honesty in the situation, ie, if we stayed together - I WOULD have cheated on you...

I spent Monday night at the Avenue Bar at the Four Seasons with a couple of friends and a wealthy financier... again I work for a not for profit and to quote the pretty, but less intelligent man who sometimes shares my bed: if you work for a not for profit - how do they pay you? [sigh... ]

But back to the Four Seasons, where really... every Faux Hillary likes to play, or at least have their Bat Mitzvah. And so as I sat on a couch eating free cashews and cheese doodles, wondering if my visa was going to be declined upon paying for a Tanqueray Ten martini, I ended up thinking about Fit.

Remember Fit? How your average Faux Hillary likes to find a mentsh or maidel who "fits" the bill. I looked at Fit as an inherent positive... part of the building block that creates a strong relationship. Fit = values, shared friends, background and when planning a life together - Fit makes sense.

So the negative aspect of Fit? Proceed with caution - the following are tales of Fit gone bad.

As I pranced through the Avenue bar the other day - telling Forest Whitaker that I thought his portrayal in the Last King of Scotland was tear worthy - I ended up passing by a table wherein sat an old Friend of Bold (FOB). This Friend of Bold, recently engaged to her high-falutin husband, was sitting, or to quote the gossip rags, canoodling with a very attractive thing in a darkened corner of the bar. I stopped for pleasantries, natch, and introductions. Faux Hillary meet Steven. Steven meet Faux. As the Friend of Bold turned to order another round for her and the dude I innocently struck up a conversation prodding for a bit of information.
"Where'd you meet FOB?"
"Oh around." [That'a lie, everyone knows where they meet people].
"Interesting, do you know her fiance?"
"Of course. We play golf together."
"That's nice. And you work in?"
"Real estate equity. I actually live out in Oakville with my wife and two kids, but often work late, so I have a condo right at Bay and Bloor."
"I love real estate equity!" FOB had ordered by now and after catching up quickly with her on the wedding plans [purple brides maid dresses?! Love it!] I left to relieve myself in the bathroom. Where you may ask is FOB's fiance? Mr. FOB is a globe-trotting executive and Faux Hill success story who is very often in New York City or Washington, leaving FOB to decorate the uptown mansion and play with her burgeoning career in event planning. All things being said though - Fob and Mr. FOB work quite well together - friends from university, they have many mutual friends and in fact they grew up two blocks apart. FOB's mother in law knew FOB's mother from high school. With the exception of FOB spending an evening at Real Estate Equity's condo - not to jump to conclusions, but come on! - it appears as if they Fit the bill. I guess, a question, for FOB - if you were really happy with your fiance -would you spend an average Monday evening canoodling at the Avenue Bar?

Which leads us to cautionary Faux Hill tale of Fit numero duo. Meet Jessica and David. David is the son of a very very well known Faux Hill family. David is one of the loveliest people I know. Literally. David has been groomed to take over his father's business and is dating his beloved high school girlfriend Jessica. David, you might argue is living the Faux Hill dream.

Yet.. everyone hates Jessica. Why? Funny you should ask... its probably because, while in law school at Western, Jessica was known to fuck every and anything that moved. So why keep the boyfriend and spread your legs for everyone this side of Richmond Ave? It appears as if for Jessica the status of dating the finest dauphin in the Faux is too much to give up, and for David, albeit lovely, likes the idealized image of his relationship.

It all boils down to Fit darling... only this time - Fit's gone bad.