Monday, May 30, 2005

Aligators VS Polo Players - Celebrity Deathmatch

Trips to the south, generally find the FH family in an outlet mall. After the late afternoon end of the Bar Mitzvah it was off to some outlet mall in Souther Mass. I sort of can't deal with outlet malls to be honest; generally a lot of Americans with blond hair and bangs (think Bold Sharon circa her bat-mitvah in 1987) and piles upon piles of reduced clothes that people are sifting through in an orgy of consumer capitalism. It's almost as if people have never seen a sale or piles of five dollar t-shirts in irregular patterns and cuts - there is a reason people a lot of this stuff is on sale.
Last summer I worked for the Gap and walking into the Gap Outlet this year was like having an acid flashback; everything I folded down last summer has been trotted out and tarted up for this summer's consumption.
There are of course bargains and your truly did not escape the consumption disease; and it is with pleasure that I now own a Lacoste sweater, which is essentially a merino wool jumper that some child slapped an aligator on and subsequently the price was jacked up threefold. The Lacoste aligator is, however, a much required necessity for Village antics, especially this year. To quote Paris Hilton, "that's hot." Lacoste does seem to be the brand of choice these days. However, dear friend, and life partner KB, admonished my purchase wondering if I had questioned my life long loyalty to Polo Players and the Lauren empire. Never! How could I, a good Jewish boy ever, question the illusionary lifestyle machine that Lauren, nee Lipshitz, has created. It's brilliant; it makes me feel like establishment, like I play POLO! But sometimes, a boy just likes to walk into a Lacoste store, spray some cologne on a piece of paper because it reminds him of some latent bisexual, and purchase a sweater with an aligator on it. Ralph Lauren Polo's are a given, but a boys gotta mix it up sometimes.

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