Saturday, May 21, 2005

No Regrets...

Learning not to regret the past is an important life skill that I've slowly learnt. My lesbian Jewish hippie yogi, Joan, impassionately argued this way back in January, "You can't live yourlife regretting the past; honesty, especially in a relationship is paramout." When my life careened off its straight and arrow track, sometime around October of last year, there was that initial feeling that the whole thing had been a mistake. Shouldn't have dated the M Brad, shouldn't have applied for joint honours, shouldn't have run two student organizations, shouldn't have worn those pair of jeans on Tuesday, should've gone to classes in March, shouldn't have sat in Veggierama for three months, etc... When the M Brad and I practiced our month long break up dance it ended with him telling me that, "In three months you'll would regret everything." Everything, to him, was perhaps telling him that I loved him. But when I finally left Montreal in May the whole thing was organic. There was no point in regretting the past. At the time I told the M Brad I loved him, I did love him, and it was his idiocy which made me sit in Veggierama for a couple of months, till I happened upon the Rama, whose idiocy currently has me awkwardly waiting for an email; eventually though the Rama will either stay, or he'll go and I'll find another pretty boy to lust after. Regrets? Regret falling in love? It was beautiful at the time, and so, after months of counselling sessions with the emphathetic Thomas, the past was effectively put behind me. 2004-2005 was what it was; an annus horribilus to be sure, perhaps too many tears but there was nothing really worth regretting. A the end of the year I'm still here, knocked down, but never out.

And so I present to you the lyrics from a beautiful song by the Stereophonics, Rewind. A favourite of mine, Irish Andy and of beloved friend the Animal.

"It's your time; It's your day;
It's never too late to change lanes
How's your life? How's your place?
Was it where you wanted your head to lay?

But wait, you can breathe; you can see what I can see;
Don't waste your time; You can't make back

If you could rewind your time; Would you change your life?

Dream and Be; What you feel
Don't you Compromise; What you want to be

'Cause change is okiay
Whats the point in staying the same
Regrets, forget what's dead and gone

Time to take you away
Have you done all you wanted?
Are you happy and warm?
Do you miss someone special
You don't see anymore?

Rewind your time
Would you change your life

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