Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Bought: Everyone Loves a Jewish Boy

Every Saturday in the Globe and Mail style section is a column by Heather Mallick entitled "Bought". She regales us with her weekly tales of consumption, toile, crystal vases & cast iron flower pots are some of the things that come to mind that the Mallick has bought of late. Generally I'd assume that she spends about as much time at Summerhill and on Eglinton trying to find things to write about. Tis too bad about the "Bought" column because Mallick's "As if..." column in the Focus is actually quite good and so I try not to be swayed by the stupidity of wondering what Heather is going to buy this week and stick mainly to the "As if..." of Mallick's oeuvre.
But I digress into tales of unemployment... when you're unemployed you have no money, yet you spend an innordinate amount of time shopping. Shopping is free until you purchase something, but it isn't a bad distraction from the snoozfest that is Days of Our Lives. Being unemployed also gives you the free time to realize that you need to purchase a picture album and file away all of your pictures, or you really should get those jeans that you purchased last October shortened...
Yesterday after THE JOB INTERVIEW I found myself in the Urban Outfitters sale section, trying to reconnect with my past urban life of Plateau dwelling, Faux Hill represent, yo. Lo and behold, however, those Everyone Loves a Jewish Boy t-shirts were on sale! Sale is like manna to the unemployed. And so after finding a medium I ventured up to the cash smiling imagining myself sporting said t-shirt at the Village Starbucks in an ironic, ha ha, I know this t-shirt is stupid and I got it on sale and yet can see the irony of me wearing this t-shirt on the Starbucks patio in the Village. But as I got lost in the apartment section of Urban Outfitters (crazy coloured martini glasses! must buy!) I dropped the t-shirt. Its stupid, not funny, and any irony I would have gleaned by wearing it would have been lost on "those girls" who frequent the Village. New Column: Not Bought.

In other news to quote a friend whom I told that the Rama is now tanned and hot in Alberta, "J, if you wanted to date a black man you would have dated a black man."

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